Michael Nolan
"Fuck me sideways he fuckin got right in there didn't he?" : -'' Mike Nolan '''Michael "Mike" Nolan', (better known to Lezlie Mackerel and his associates as "Nolesy), is a 52-year old tradie in Brown Town, saying he'll do any sort of manual labour as long as he gets paid "cash-in-hand" . He seems to own several firearms (shotguns mainly), and is an extremely heavy smoker, having smoked for 48 years. His favorite cigarettes are Winnie Blues , Nolan is fond of going out with Lez and the sasquatches and at one point had planned a trip to Thailand (to get a Ripstart),which was how he became stranded on Choomah Island when the plane crashed. 'Season 1 and 2' Mike appears briefly in episode 4 (using his usual catchphrase "Fuck Me Sideways" for the first time) in which he helps Lez replace his mailbox after Norton shits in it. 'Choomah Island' Mike went missing for 2 weeks and was later found by Lezlie on Choomah Island after saving him from a pack of choomahs. He then shows Lez he has set up a campsite on a hill with a shotgun and more cigarettes. He tells Lez "you need three things to survive on this island mate, guns, ammunition and a pack of smokes". He later meets up with Sassy and Donny on the beach after being separated from Lez. Clarence arrives with his tinnie, to which mike notes "oh fuck it's Clarence". He escapes with Lez, Sassy and Donny when the Choomahs chase them, leaving Clarence on the island. On the boat Lez asks Nolezy if he wants to help with a 'project' he is working on (the spaceship )which Nolzey asks "what sort of project?" In Season 2 Nolezy wants to help Lez repair the spaceship but explains it will cost a lot of money. Lez asks "how we are gonna get the fuckin money" and Nolezy replies by saying "the only way I know how mate". He was referring to poker machines, which Lez wins $100,000,000. While Lez and Sassy's crew (minus Donny who legged it before he could be arrested) were in prison Nolezy and Donny repaired the spaceship. Nolezy was meant to go on the voyage to kingdom cum but stayed back to hit the volcano bong instead. Battle Of Brown Town Mike Nolan wasn't present for the Battle of Brown Town, but he did manage to steal a Bell-47 Helicopter after hitting the Volcano Bong (at level according to Sassy of 'start seeing shit' and said he was 'off his fucken head cunt') and used it to evacuate Lez, The Sasquatches, Warning guy and his cousin Sergio from the roof of a pink building. Season 3 Episode 2 "yeah nah mate" is exclusively about Nolan. It is a video of him outside a building site, speaking about why he should be voted as Brown Town's city councilman. He talks about his past and his culture. He says he dropped out of school when he in year 2, and a picture of a group of builders in hi-viz jackets. In the photo there is a picture of a small child with a beard who is smoking. He points out that it is himself. He then continues to say which jobs he has held. Nolan: "I've had all sorts of work you know, like fucking postie driver, construction worker, bricklayer, build a fucking bus stop here and there, lollipop man. Do you know how much a fucking lollipop man racks in?" Interviewer: "err" Nolan: "shitloads cunt! Roadside construction, I do a lot of maintenance at local theme parks, fucking removalist, anything, fucking anything". In Episode 8 It is revealed Nolezy has been helping Lez build this figure world called "Glennworld" which explains his absence for most of the season 3 episodes. Later in the episode Nolezy, Sassy and Donny later persuade Lez to go back to choomah Island for another crazy adventure,When Donny says they'll bring more guns and ammunition than last time Nolezy adds "Don't forget the Winnie Blues mate". Donny then asks Nolezy to try this hesh in a old fashioned pipe. Choomah Island 2 Nolezy, Sassy's crew, Lez and Clarence go back to choomah island to finish the choomah off once and for all. Nolan seems to have gotten a tattoo that says "Fuck Cops" but it should be noted that he does not hate the good cops who he believes "will change it from the inside". Appearance Nolan appears to be in his mid forties, he has a beer belly but still has a strong physique, similar to Lez. He has short black hair and sports a tidy goatee. He wears a yellow high-visibility Hi Vis shirt with collar and is always seen with cigarette in-hand. Category:Characters